Anyone who thinks I am on vacation has never been a woman travelling alone. You have a lot of time alone with your thoughts—you look back and see things clearly, you look forward and wonder if you will be able to do it better in the future. If you speak your mind, you are sure to shock and frighten insecure people who may or may not be very intelligent or worldly. They most certainly will gossip. You will bring your aspie issues with you wherever you go and nobody gives a shit if the music is too loud for you.
I miss my friends and family, but frankly they are so scattered about there is no one place that contains them all, so home is wherever I am at the moment. This is not a vacation….this is a pilgrimage, a quest, as difficult as anything I’ve ever done except I’m a tad wiser.
On top of that, I became very ill after I arrived and spent the better part of the first month mostly bedridden.
Out of all of this, I realized one thing—I am as tough as nails. I never wanted to be. I wanted to be loved and cared for like anyone does, like any woman does. But I’m a leader, and female leaders do not have a ‘behind every strong man there’s a strong woman’ equivalent. More likely, behind every strong woman is a sniveling coward…far behind. Not all of you, I’m sure. There are some good men out there that support and are unafraid of their partners’ intelligence, successes and ingenuity. But if a woman is strong, it’s because she has had to be.
I am hoping to inspire all of you because one thing I have gained, is a new skill—I do not get depressed. I have found a way to kill it before it grows. I have a kind of freedom that many of you do not have, but I believe that this newly acquired skill of mine requires only free will.
I’ll be sharing more about this with my Aspergirls—we have chats coming up, and webinars, and they each get to meet with me alone. This is not something you just blurt out on facebook, but it is something you share with true seekers. I’ll see some of you soon.