Boys will be boys?? Boys will be held accountable

This whole Harvey Weinstein sexual harassment scandal comes at an interesting time for me. Just a few weeks ago, I was grabbed and groped by two men whom I’d considered friends. One put his hand on my ass cheek and another on my left breast just as the camera was shooting our pic on timer. I pushed their hands away said ‘stop it’ and we took one more pic. They did it again as the camera went off. After that we sat and chatted for a while and I tried to shrug it off as a friendly joke, but it stayed with me for days. When you look at the photo, you would never know anything was amiss. A a woman, you learn to smile in all kinds of circumstances. It is also very easy and commonplace for us to say ‘oh they didn’t mean anything by it’ etc. I even posted the pic for a short while. But I realized after a week that it was bothering me more and more, not less. I avoided them after that. I saw one of them and merely nodded. Finally I spoke to another male friend about it. “That is not cool” he said.
Yes. I know that now.
I am not one of these women that sees sexual harassment everywhere. I like it when men call me bellissima when I walk down the street or even ask me for my number as long as it’s done politely. After all, I can refuse. I’m a big girl. And I know that I am sexy, it is partly my choice to be, and partly genetics. But touching without permission, or worse, after hearing NO, is another story. Last spring there was a man who kept whispering and speaking to me every time I went by, and giving me the creeps. One day he reached out and grabbed me and I lost my shit—yelled at him, made a scene. I found out recently he was fired and I’m still happy over that one.
When I tell people I’m writing a book on sex, they often get a bit childish and red-faced about it. What they don’t understand is we’ve been hearing about the world of sex from a male perspective forever. Gratuitous T and A everywhere. In my lifetime I’ve been forcefed music videos of gyrating groupies in pretty much every rock or hip hop video ever made by a male artist. And so will your daughters if we don’t grow up a little. I have taken control of my sexuality and my image. And my opinions are no longer hidden under a rock or uttered only in hushed tones. If I think a man is being sexist or stupid, I have no problem getting up from a table and leaving, or showing him the door. I’ve done it quite a bit lately, because young men are getting their ideas of male dominance from music videos, blockbusters, porn, politics and even their own mothers. And while we have our female heroes, ever notice they’re (almost) always superhot? And how many of them were forced to look at Weinstein’s anatomy when they thought they were going on a business lunch?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. “I grab women by the pussy” was acceptable? “I grab men by the cock” ? She would have been burned at the proverbial stake. Neither are acceptable examples of enlightened consciousness. Period.

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