I’m writing a new book. I’ve been posting excerpts daily on SM to get response and feedback, much more than I usually do when I’m writing. I’m really excited about this one. Here is a sample. Oh, the book is about being single, sex and dating.
“Are you alone?” asked the Greek waitress in a loud voice. She sounded like she was gloating—maybe over her mastery of the question in English, maybe over the fact that she didn’t like my face and was glad no one else did either….or maybe I am just sensitive today.
In some languages “I’m alone” is the same as “I’m lonely”. I’m beginning to tire of the idea of being single. Not that I ever really embraced it. Like I said at the beginning I didn’t want to be out here again. Having many first dates is like reading one chapter from several books, rather than reading a whole book. I begin to crave a good book. But how to find one? The advice given to women is contradictory.
My married friend said to me yesterday “Sex first, then love comes after.” But he’s trying to set me up with his buddy so he can’t be trusted, even if he is sweet and adorable. “I don’t believe you,” I replied and he just grinned and walked away. Men can be cute, adorable, be good friends, but these same men can use you in a heartbeat and have no concern for your emotional well-being afterward. It’s very hard for the Aspergirl to get her brain around this.
How do you meet someone? My last two relationships were 1, an old friend who found me online, and 2, another aspie who knew my work and reputation and sought me out.
Many people meet their partners on dating sites, several of my Aspergirl friends have. One met her new love through a friend’s facebook post about a man who heroically saved a cat. She wrote to him and next thing you know, true love bells are ringing through the Canadian mountains. Another friend met her husband at an AS support group she ran. Others through work, through friends, simply walking down the street. Me? Not so lucky.
Sometimes I think I’m too fussy, but then I look back at the liaisons I’ve had and think I’m not fussy enough. I have one or two nice guys that are interested in me now, but for me, I just don’t feel like there’s enough common ground there. I am attracted to beautiful bad boys. Even when they disguise themselves as good men and I think “right, here’s a keeper” he just turns out to be Voldemort in Batman’s clothing.
In Rome, I started smoking again just a little, because A, I was nervous and upset that the bathroom kept flooding, and B, it was one way to meet men. I’d walk up to one in the square and say “Do you have a cigarette? I don’t really smoke enough to buy them.” of course I didn’t ask the ruffian types but fellas who were with a buddy, who looked like they just got out of work and were enjoying a glass of wine in the square. Or, who were working in a restaurant. It worked well enough to get me invited to sit and join them for a drink. Sometimes it got me a dinner date. But none of them turned out to be true love, because it’s just too random. And ironically, the last thing I want is a relationship with another smoker!
In Athens, it’s a bit harder. They are much more reserved than Italians, so even if they give you a cigarette, they don’t usually ask you out afterward. When you are Rudy Simone, saver of thousands of marriages (or however many, I’m not sure) you are supposed to be living in a tower with King Charming (why is he never a “king” anyway?) feeding you grapes, protecting you from harm and making mad passionate love to you every night in a four poster with stars for your ceiling.
How the hell will I meet someone? I did meet a few nice ones in Rome, but they searched me online, where there is now so much misinformation and bad photographs, I got the raised eyebrow “I googled you” look and that was that. I have had to hire an Online Reputation Manager to literally clean up my act. I want to meet Colin Farrell. How does one do this?? I want to be the Halle Berry of Autism and have a gorgeous hunk of man next to me in a photo while I smile a satisfied smile and have perfect skin.
For now, I make myself another cup of tea, alone on a Sunday, and wait for my next online meeting. At least the virtual world is populated with those who still love me.